Short story: The Wolf

Originally written in Balochi by: Jaleel Faiz

Translated into English by: Uzair Mehr

 

I don’t know why, but nowadays I’m becoming vastly oblivious. I am blanking everything out. When I put something somewhere, I can’t remember where I’ve put it. Everybody tells me I’ve changed but no one tells me how I’ve changed. I forget words and can’t remember their meanings. All of my books are crammed with worms. When I open the books, I see their words are vanished because these worms are wiping out the words. I guess i am forgetting everything because I used to read these books day and night and learnt a lot from them.

 

Everything has changed in my perspective. Nobody talks to me. Seeing me, the dogs of the town woof at me, yet I don’t know why? They chase after me. When they see me on the street, menace me with their bloodshot eyes, and I rush away out of fear, and they tail me all the way. For saving myself, and seeking shelter to stay, I directly go home, and on reaching home, when I open the door of my room, I sense a reek smell in the room, as if a horde of mice has decayed in it.

 

 

As I open the cupboard of clothes, it seems as if it’s being opened after decades. Clothes smell like metal. When I move toward the books, they’re not readable being void of words. I don’t what’s happening to me. I was a sheer valorous person, but I’m dreading these days. As I lay down on the bed and close my eyes at night, I feel some horned people are hovering my overhead, and are about to strangle me. I open my eyes right away and cast my eyes toward the windows.

 

I sense that two persons are staring at me outside the window. I hop out of bed and close the window. While closing the window, I feel asphyxiated. Do you know how many nights have paased me awake? I am an insomniac. I toil all day long and fag but still, I can’t sleep and I don’t know why?

 

I’m excessively frightened of myself, from everyone, from my relatives, from strangers. I saw the doctor yesterday and discussed all the matters.

“It seems as if a wolf crept in, and consolidating its roots within you.”

 I was at a loss that how come?

I delved into a retrospective thought and recalled that when I was a child, I knew nothing except love, affection and laughter, so who has cultivated this wolf in me? It’s not like spontaneously grown plant. Surely, society, parents, mentors, books, friends and companions bestowed upon me.

 

 

Grudge, rancor, avarice, theft, cupidity, rage and enmity, these all have been endowed upon me, here. I even didn’t know anything like that before. I have reached at the cusp of oblivion now, and have drawn a blank of myself, too. I don’t know what to do, now?

Reference:

Payaap Magazine January 2018

Page Number: 48-49